Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
