I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
