Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You ever have a fart follow you around?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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