And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
