he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
