Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
