its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
