On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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