i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
