u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do herpes really smell.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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