nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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