My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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