Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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