the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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