eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
