it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Me too!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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