Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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