end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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