worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
