some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
