I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
