it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
