I feel great
I just peed on a car
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
