we have pet lesbian snakes
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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