I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
