dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I AM VODKA MAN
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
