i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
