talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
someone owes me an orgasm
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
