don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
