I wish I could punch you in the face.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
