i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
