Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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