If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
