What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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