So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
even my farts smell like vagina
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
