the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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