I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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