It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
