Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
