So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
