Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
