So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
