Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
