I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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