He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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