bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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