STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We left the knife in your bed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
