i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
