Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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