I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
