Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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