we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
